Well Here's Me

Hazza88

Make Money Online
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
35
Just finished reading it all, awesome man, gonna be following you on your journeys :)
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 6

What a day! Okay, some stats..

Woke up and went to court where they told me AGAIN that the DA was not there, and so it was pushed back to the 26th.. this'll be like my 8th court date or something. Frick.

The Myspace site.. this is the bad news of the day. Paypal did not decide in my favor, and I will never use them to buy a website again. The seller LIED to paypal with the same lies she told me (that the site does get 700 hits a day from myspace, and it was my "*******/*****ing script" (cpalead) that prevented the trackrs from working.. there is just so many things wrong and so many holes with what that bitch said. Yeah, I'm pretty ticked about it. I'm out $200. Well I am pressing charges, and already gathered all my evidence and submitted a fraud complaint to ic3.gov. I hope she serves time. I'll be looking into escrow.com, I've heard people talk about that... And I'm never going to buy from someone 1) I haven't talked on the phone with, 2) whom will not give me certain basic personal information for my records, 3) cannot provide proof of reputation (eg. iTrader of 10 or more as a seller), 4) cannot provide proof of revenue for 6 months, 5) cannot proof of traffic via access to an analytics account that dates back at least 6 months, 7) cannot keep their story straight, 8) ah there was another one but I forgot it. The only thing the site does is barely pay for itself even with cpalead on it, which on any content-driven site is going to increase revenue by 15-20x easily. She claimed it made $5 a day, and it was really an average of $0.05. So at least it's not costing me any money to hold it.. This was bad, I'm pissed and bummed about it, but hoping the government will get her and I'm moving on... So F-ing sick of people stealing shit from me though. It's something I get real angry about. Damn lazy @@&*@*** @&#@# well you get the idea. lol

(Oh! I also am now advertising for loudmo's facebook layout editor on the myspace site with a nice leaderboard, so hoping that will add to it and help me out more than adsense did!)

The Youtube channel for reward site is getting 4k views a day with 101 videos. The site now has 170 members, and made me $9.07 today. For this site I did some backlinks today using google alerts to tell me of relative sites for my keywords AND I found a neat little trick: you know those blogs that won't publish html? or even links? Put your keyword as your name and your website in the website box, make a comment about the blog and BAM! A link to your site using a keyword. No title but hey, better than nothing!!

I put up 11 or 12 videos to promote my site that shows off Loudmo's video downloader/player. Loudmo increased payrates today a quarter (up to $1.50) for US installs.

I heard about an e-mail submit that pays $1.30 per and allows for incentives, so that sounds like a HUGE money maker... I just have to find it! Unfortunately I didn't catch the guy before he logged off of cpalead chat.

The envirofile thing is paying off! I had one download, and got $0.23 from that, then, with it being password protected, the guy had to try 6 CPALead surveys before one worked but it did so he got what he wanted and I got $0.53. Here's something about that method: Linkbucks does not pay you SQUAT! There highest payout is $1 for every 3500 clicks. I had 9 clicks and only one guy even got to the envirofile download, so I took that link out of the chain and now it's just Youtube->Envrofile->CPALead. When I have time I'll definitely draw up a battle plan for this method and scale it up. There's a lot to consider when optimizing this but yeah, this is a profitable method.

I created a FB group to promote another one of Loudmo's PPI programs, and invited around 1900 people to join it.

Still haven't heard back from the FB app developer. I'll try to give those guys a call tomorrow, see if we can't move forward soon. I'm definitely looking forward to reselling this app now, but how far out that will be depends.. It'll sell for a nice chunk of cash I'm sure... maybe pay for my court fees -_-

Reward site is still sitting at 36/75M for it's main broad word... waiting for that update..

Overall profits were $12.46 today.
 

BlueRhino

Make Money Online
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
506
Reaction score
7
Points
0
Location
U.S.
First- The government is not going to do anything about your private transaction. They (the FBI) only investigate matters which the dollar value is into the tens of thousands, NOT $200. So unless the person committed some other felony, your pretty much out of luck there.

At this point, the only option you have is to contact Paypal via phone and see if they will review the case again.

Alternatively- If you PAID the $200 or a large portion of that amount with a Credit Card, you can dispute the charges directly with your financial institution. They will be much more likely to actually investigate the charges and decide in your favor. Unfortunately, if the funds were transfered from deposits already on file in your Paypal account, then your only option is to deal with Paypal directly.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
The first thing I did was call paypal and that's what they said, only without letting me know which would be more effective so I just went with what I'd be more familiar with. I did use a CC to transfer from the bank so I'll give that a try during business hours tomorrow. Up from a nightmare for some reason tonight.. Thanks for the tip.

I should probably take some time to learn about this stuff too if I'm going to be working online like this.. Seems real important that I know how this stuff works - hope my pride don't get in the way. And hopefully I'll be more experienced and better prepared next time.

Ah, well. At the least, losing a bit of money ain't the worst thing that could happen to a fella.

Edit/PS: Concerning Paypal: they have deferred it for 6 months and will consider re-opening the case if there are any similar mishaps with the seller's account during that time. But even so, I'd imagine that someone who makes this their business wouldn't use the same name or the same account twice. I'm not putting my chips there.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 6

I had to spend the first part of the day writing up a report to submit to the bank so I didn't get much done IM-wise, but I did see some profits.

The CPALead reward site made $12.94, though about $2.50 of that was me completing surveys for research so I could make the help page a little better. The site now has 217 members. Still need to look into a way to mass-email all my members.

The Youtube account has about 20k views now. One of the videos is in the #2 spot for an exact keyword that gets 200k per month so that video is doing really well: 1.5-2k each day.

Myspace site made $2.38. I'm really looking forward to buying a legitimate site like this... The thing is only getting about 20 unique views a day. I should be making $50/day off this or more but yeah.

Got about $3 from Loudmo installs today.

The guy at apps-r-us got back to me, and got everything set up so I'm going to be working on that tomorrow. Really great service with these guys. Apps are selling like hotcakes too... Can't wait to build my own.

Profit today way $18.38.

Well I took the night off and went out to the bar to see some folks. I'm feelin' a little sick now but hopefully I'll be able to get the app running tomorrow.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 7

Oh heck let's see.. today i've just been sick. A lot of drinking water and sleeping and not much else. Guess I answered a few e-mails from members of the reward site who had questions/requests.

About 2 hours left in the day and profit is $25.31. It's just all that Youtube traffic.. The vids are doing pretty well, and that one is staying at the top for that keyword, and that's about half my traffic.

As far as I know the website hasn't moved in google yet. Waiting for all the promotion to mature I guess.

There's pressure and heat in my brain and it feels like rainbows and joyous laughter. Dunno why I get euphoria when this happens. It's probably a bad thing. My brain is probably melting but oh well. I love being sick; it makes watching clouds roll by and listening to the Steve Miller Band better than sex. Well that might be true otherwise as well. Bed time.. Cheers.
 

El_King_Jefe

Make Money Online
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
1,660
Reaction score
28
Points
0
Location
My Brain
Great job so far man, $25 will soon rise to $50 man, 3 days ago you were at $10. Keep going man, you are doing awesome!
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
DAY 8

Whoo what a goofy message, I was high as a kite yesterday, yeah buddy!

All right. Today I got the content made for the first 10 levels in my Facebook app. Need to get into the nitty gritty of the code tomorrow and spice it up a bit, provided I can get my FTP info. from the guy (username had an '@' in it and I don't work well with that :p).

Oh! Then I got my mass emailing all set up and going. Had to, uh, install PhPList, figure throttling out so I didn't get banned, made a script to list all the emails, loaded it up, and sent out a message; it was Valentines Day so I offered 50 bonus points to everyone who completed a survey today. Unfortunately, it was Valentines day and past 4pm so it didn't do anything. I made $3.57 off of that site today. And $2.70 off of the Myspace.

Came up with 8 different promotional events to use with THE LIST!

I think I got the e-mail list bug - I might have to give this a shot at some point. I remember readin' all about it at one point.. What to market, how to market it, who to market it to, how to write, how to get 80% in the email box, how to use all the programs, and get addresses and aggregate everything.. I think I forgot it all. :p Well now that I kinda know how to do it, it seems worth trying at some point for sure.

I made $30 off of a sale at Jamplay.com. I've had the affiliate links sitting on my guitar channel on Youtube since December first. I get 400 views a day, though I haven't uploaded anything in well over a year.. Took 140 hits before I made a sale, and I need to make another one before I will see that money. But that was cool.

One of my grandmas gave me a Valentines day card and $10. I'm sure she'll do it when I'm 40. :D

Found out more about SEO using sitemaps, and how to gain competitors' backlinks, and did some forum posting with my link in the siggy. (yahoo.com search link:http://www.website.com) I had seen that my site is now on page 2 at 14/75m for its main broad keyword, so that got me pumped about doing a little backlinking today. Hoping to hit the front page soon and bump my traffic up at least 50%.

Also thought about just tackling a few different niches with these reward sites. With what I know now I could probably get one set up with 100 Youtube vids, indexed and climbing in less than a week for a much better keyword. If each can get to twenty or thirty bucks a day, that's very good.

Oh, let's see, what else... waiting for adwords to get back to me so I can start that again.

Oh I always forget some part of the day but I already wrote a lot.. So... the end.

$46.27 profit today, with a lotta luck.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 9

Not much wen on today because I'm still waiting for that guy to get back to me with the new FTP info... Did some backlinking for my reward site.

Logged into adwords, now all my quality scores are 1/10. Sent them an email - that frustrated and depressed me. They just say "oh hey sorry about our mistake, I'll get a spe******t to get back to you in no more than 2 business days" 6 days later they haven't said a word and my account is damned. I hate Google. Whitehat and I can't catch a goddamn break. My most profitable method so far is out the window.

Anyway.

I made $3.71 today between the reward site and the myspace site. That was terrible.

SO I TOOK A NAP!

And before I took a nap, I had posted on the forum of the game dev. community I was a part of when I made a game that was very similar to this FB app I'm wanting to create, trying to describe it and asked if anyone had it; when I had woken up, someone had posted it. So that was good and turned my mood around. Swear I'm bi-polar or something. Manic? I tried to figure out everything I had developed right after I first discovered what abuse was and that that's what happened to me (still didn't know it was classified as a cult experience), but it was just overwhelming. -_-

Feeling okay since then... It's like I live at a level 0 and sometimes when I'm sick I get a fever and go to 8-10, then over a few days shrink back down to 0. I'd like to just sit at a 6-7. I'm not sure why I am experiencing good feelings and thoughts lately. I hope it's not just because of that sickness I had a couple days back. I don't think I used to be depressed so bad but I can't really remember. But I'm very aware of any and all changes, like being in a dead-silent room, and sometimes hearing sound. It could be a pin dropping, but you'd hear it because it's so quiet. So I know when I experience the slightest hint of a good thought/feeling. I really want to have that all the time. I'm hoping financial freedoms and opportunity to pursue a dream I once had been will really help with my stability and happiness. Well who isn't happy when they get what they really want? That's all it is I think. But I'm also hoping my skin will thicken up again and, as well, all these damn emotions will cool it and everything will just calm down and stabilize. I want to be a normal dude again. I want to be certain of who I am and what I want, too. I don't want to be weird or unwhole inside. I want to gain everything back that they took from me, if only in a different light. Well I'm going to build this facebook app, and I hope I can enjoy doing it. I want to enjoy being alive and not just because I have a fever. But right now it's like an on/off switch.. Either I have a fever and I feel alive, or I don't and it's just like I might as well be dead - no joy, no motivation, no desire, nothing good, and very unstable. Just work to do with the hope that it will bring success and success will bring good feelings back.

So, feeling all right tonight, even having some disappointment and concerns, they don't hurt me or totally take me out. It just makes it easy to deal with everything. Feels like that brick wall I'm pushing against is moving out of the way, and the weight on my back is being lifted off, and the pressure on my chest is being relieved. Like the stones on my ankles are growing lighter and the sun's coming out again, and I can feel its warmth on me. I want to feel like this all the time. I don't take pills or any medicine for anything ever, but if getting what I want can't help me out emotionally, chemically - physiologically - I hope then anti-depressants can give me my life back.

I've read about it all though.. Extreme, prolonged abuse leads to these massive brain lesions and they just cause all kinds of problems that do terrible things to people. God I hope it's reversible through long-term achievements of physical health and success. Getting started now will be the hardest part, pending any major catastrophes.

At the end of the day when my head hits the pillow, I want to be hopeful for tomorrow. I want to have dreams again: positive, hopeful, exciting desires. I want to feel satisfied and respected and loved and excited and happy and peaceful. I'm sick of not being able to sleep because I'm angry and afraid and anxious and sad and ashamed and disgusted with what or who I am and sickly, sickly depressed. Rejected, abandoned, invalidated, disrespected, betrayed, used, lied-to, uncomfortable, empty, unappreciated, victimized, ostracized, disappointed, discouraged, resentful, bitter, mad, confused, unfulfilled, frustrated, unsupported, insulted, mocked, worried, unprotected, exposed, overwhelmed, violated, hopeless, tense, unmotivated, lost, trapped, manipulated, frozen, disconnected, isolated, lonely, suicidal, homicidal, conspired against and ignored. Crazy - absolutely crazy how all of this huge, terrible stuff can just evaporate and seem so small and so far away.. just because I have a fever and feel good? None of these thoughts can be thought and none of these feelings can be felt when I feel good. Then the only thing I feel is foolish for expressing myself at all when I was down. All I think is "Man, I wish I hadn't expressed myself; made myself appear different from everyone else; pushed people away. Wish I could take back behaving weird now that it doesn't matter to me. And now that I don't feel so narcissistic." I'll probably feel the same way tomorrow when I wake up. I might even erase this. I mean, I did say this would be a personal journal but I don't know how personal I want to get here. Well it ain't like I'm making anyone read my crap. This is more for me, to see where I was and what progress I've made, and to remain encouraged by this. There really aren't that many people out there who can relate to fighting through these specific emotional and personality disorders. So this stuff might be just for me. If you read it and don't like it, don't like me or don't understand, that's all right, you don't gotta say nothin'.

Hoping profits pick back up tomorrow, really not sure what's been up the last two days..
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 10!

Yelled at Google, then I deleted my account - good riddance, what a relief to be free of the monster. I had a lot to say about the way they treat people. Glad it's over.

Worked on my app.

Threw a few tests online for Envirofile. If I can send traffic I'm going to make my own website. Figure if I can put a $1 offer in front of files that get at least 1 download a day, and do 100 of those - maybe 200 to be safe - easy $100 bucks a day. Just need to figure out how to get traffic. Still don't have a proxy for Youtube. Using Digg & StumbleUpon for traffic.

Made $3.52 today. And like $2 of that was the Myspace site. Still sending 200 people a day to the reward site, and getting the same amount of new accounts, but yeah.. Same traffic, but no one is participating. 4 leads/62 clicks. Dunno why. Waiting to move to the front page and working on the app in the meantime.

Still feeling all right! Not as good as yesterday but not bad.
 

El_King_Jefe

Make Money Online
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
1,660
Reaction score
28
Points
0
Location
My Brain
Day 10!

Yelled at Google, then I deleted my account - good riddance, what a relief to be free of the monster. I had a lot to say about the way they treat people. Glad it's over.

Worked on my app.

Threw a few tests online for Envirofile. If I can send traffic I'm going to make my own website. Figure if I can put a $1 offer in front of files that get at least 1 download a day, and do 100 of those - maybe 200 to be safe - easy $100 bucks a day. Just need to figure out how to get traffic. Still don't have a proxy for Youtube. Using Digg & StumbleUpon for traffic.

Made $3.52 today. And like $2 of that was the Myspace site. Still sending 200 people a day to the reward site, and getting the same amount of new accounts, but yeah.. Same traffic, but no one is participating. 4 leads/62 clicks. Dunno why. Waiting to move to the front page and working on the app in the meantime.

Still feeling all right! Not as good as yesterday but not bad.
Make a contest, top 3 refs get a prize
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Yeah, I have a few things like that. Here's what I came up with on Valentines day (might give ideas for other reward sites):

king of the hill (most surveys in day -OR- most points in day)

1 - 10,000
2 - 2,000
3 - 1,000
4-10 - 500

---

+20% bonus all points

---

first 50 to complete survey get 200 points

---

all to login today get 5 points

---

Referrals Week

most bonus points off referrals this week

(reiterate referral structure)

---

all to complete a survey today get xxx bonus points tomorrow

---

surveys have 10% chance of giving 1,000 bonus points

---

So those are the events I have so far. I think today one thing I wanna do is announce that there will be an event this Saturday, then send another reminder on Friday. Hopefully, that'll get folks to participate.

Quick update this morning though: sitting at 10 leads / 39 clicks. $9.71 profit, $7.66 being from the reward site. $1.50 from a Loudmo install. One guy completed 7 surveys though. Anyway I think I'm learning PhP today. I'll pop in for a report tonight.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 11

Okay, here's what did done happen:

Worked on that FB app! Got a couple of problems with the cron jobs so I'm waiting for the guy to get on that tomorrow (I'm having them host it and have no access through PhPMyAdmin). Also got through 2 or 3 chapters of one of the PhP books I got, and practiced with some scripts 'cause I think that's important for learning.

I had learned a bit while building my site off of that reward site script but I'm starting from the basics and going through it all because I think it will really help me to be equipped & prepared to tackle building this FB game from scratch when I'm ready.

I built 3 more backlinks on high PR do-follow blog-type sites. I keep meaning to look up what that means and what the effects are, but I know what nofollow means so I guess it's the opposite. :p I got this list of 20 from a leaked WSO so I'm going through it. Pretty sure it's at p1.pdf

I also threw them all on Digg and pinged everything.

I checked a little bit ago and my site moved from 14 to 13 out of 75m for the main broad keyword so that's pretty good. I think it gets like 2200 exact and 6600 broad (says G's keyword tool). Next time I'll have this all planned before I start... Second website should be MUCH more successful.

Oh, I got that mass email sent out.. Let everyone know I'll be holding an event this weekend, and I'll remind them Saturday actually. I hope to have something cool to report back for that. This week it's the top 10 most surveys completed that day get huge bonus points. Thinking I might see more from top ten most-points-gained in 24 hours but this should do all right..

$12.23 profit. Like $1.09 from the myspace layout site and the rest from the reward site. Only about 10 minutes left in the day and I'm ready for bed. Cheers.

EDIT:

Oh, plus that 1.50 from loudmo. So $13.73.

Oh, also still holding on to an overall improved, uh.. not sure what I should call it but I feel better and have good thoughts/feelings more frequently. They're really.. dull. Not intense. But I can still sense them and I really notice when I do have a good thought/feeling. Maybe getting back into programming games, and revisiting that old community sparked something. Not sure but I do seem to be fond of programming/creating games, even if I've forgotten everything about it. Good deal.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
Day 12

Ohh not a good day. $2.22 from the reward site and nothing else.

Learned/practiced PhP.

Bad news from the bank: they won't do anything about my $200. I'm going to court tomorrow to apply for a hardship thing so I can sue this bitch for free. Also I got her address, verified her name & phone# today too so that'll help. Now after I win my money back comes the task of actually collecting it. >_< I've had a lot of shit stolen from me. I've never had justice for any of it. The only thing the system seems to do is let criminals escape justice and keep people from being able to defend themselves or take back their things lawfully. Justice is worth a great deal to me. I'll spend my life pursuing it; I don't care what it costs me.

What else? That pretty much ruined my day. Managed to do some more high PR backlinking and my site is sitting on the first page, 9th position now. Should improve tomorrow. I just get so fuckin' angry when people take from me and I end up in this powerless victim position. Rat-in-a-cage syndrome. Makes me wanna choke a bitch. I'm sick of this shit.

Very angry, very discouraged, very depressed, very everything bad. I just hate people. I just want justice, and a shitton of money. I have $1000, a growing skillset and all the time in the world. There's gotta be a way I can make some money. I wish I could get a job but I've never had one. Everytime I've moved to a new place since I've been 16 I've applied at every damn place within 5 miles, called all of them, had interviews, and never gotten a job. This shit is unreal.

So I'm having a hard time tonight. Very hard to believe I can be successful if I work hard. I've put in over 700 hours learning to do this since the new year and I'm sitting at a loss of aruond $100 because that fuckin' bitch stole from me. At any decend low-end job I would have gained about $6000 in that many hours. Hope tomorrow looks better; I really feel like giving up tonight.
 

El_King_Jefe

Make Money Online
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
1,660
Reaction score
28
Points
0
Location
My Brain
DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol, its just around the corner, I suggest learning FBML for facebook, you can make a killing with a good app and fanpage using cpalead

If anything, do some articles!!! lol, dont give up man, read awic's forum posts about how you need to treat IM.
 

bG90

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
324
Reaction score
4
Points
17
Age
30
if i can remember correctly, how was the site earning before you bought it, was the site running on cpalead before you bought it? do you think cpalead is just not right for your traffic and you can make more money changing monetization methods?
 

El_King_Jefe

Make Money Online
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
1,660
Reaction score
28
Points
0
Location
My Brain
if i can remember correctly, how was the site earning before you bought it, was the site running on cpalead before you bought it? do you think cpalead is just not right for your traffic and you can make more money changing monetization methods?
CPALead is perfect for the site, the only problem is that he need to change to offers that convert for the users, like mobile offers might work a lot since the audience is teenagers with cell phones, thats a easy $10 per user.
 

ZackGall

Make Money Online
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
34
I wish you the best of luck. Just keep your head up and remember that when it comes to IM, we're all equals no matter what our race, religion, ethnicity, income level, and even CRIMINAL BACKGROUND. Everybody has the same oppotunities in front of them, its all just a matter of who can be the first to discover them and seize the opportunities. Message me anytime and I'll share you my story.
 

happyman1001

Make Money Online
Very Active Members
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
395
Reaction score
9
Points
0
Location
Here and There
CPALead is perfect for the site, the only problem is that he need to change to offers that convert for the users, like mobile offers might work a lot since the audience is teenagers with cell phones, thats a easy $10 per user.
Nah, the problem is that there's no traffic;

She claimed it got 15,000 UVs a month from Myspace. Really, she paid for traffic and it had MAYBE 30 active users. She had claimed it was making $5/day off of ads. She doctored reports. The gateway I have on there converts VERY well for 5-10 people a day visiting the site (was getting $2/day) but now, on top of selling me a shit site, she opened up another site, stole all the content from this one, and then stole all the users, and I'm tracing them and that's how I found out. Now I'm getting about 3 people a day, completing 0-1 surveys. The only good thing to come out of it was she didn't privatize her registration so I was able to get another name, phone # and address and then verify them all against public records. So now I have the ability to sue this person should I qualify for a hardship and should they allow me to file at the court in my town and not the defendant's because the crime took place online.

I just.. man, I am not cut-out to deal with something like this right now. I've been through too much, I'm very unstable, manic-depressive, and I don't have anything good in my life yet. So when I have nothing, and someone takes the little I've earned, I just can't deal with it because I have nothing to fall back on. I can't say "at least I have a family", "at least I have a nice place to live", "at least I have an active social life and friends who care", "at least I have my health", "at least I have a stable income", "at least I have a shining hope for the future", "at least I'm a free of debts".

I can't even imagine doing this to someone who has not the ability to defend themselves. And I've been a pretty bad dude... I've been pushed, and lines have been blurred and pushed back, but these people, they're just evil. And I would kill for justice and freedom if given a lawful opportunity. People think I'm pretty fucked up. I don't think they understand freedom. But these people.. They rob the poor, beaten and destitute. They rob those who have nothing and laugh in their faces. They take and take and take from everyone at every opportunity. Like.. why? They don't even gain much from it! I'll never understand the shit American women pull. They kill, steal and destroy, while their arrogance blinds them to the pain and destruction they cause, and their egotistical "I-don't-care" attitudes are the icing on the cake. They are impossibly selfish. I'll never understand it: why they will do anything to have power over anyone they can. Women are just power-hungry and too proud. It's "I have something you want and so I have control over you." This shit's all backwards nowadays. We need less pussyfied men out there so these women don't think they can do whatever the hell they want without repercussion and end up getting in over their heads with shit they can't handle. They're so unhappy and insecure and confused that it feels good to do bad things. And they don't care about what's good for them - they care about what makes them feel good. People can be strong and humble and kind and assertive and secure and out-of-control of others but in-control of themselves and their situations all at the same time, but less and less people understand that. They grow up poorly, and what's intuitive to these people is destructive, and damned if they're ever going to do anything about that because so few people know what they need let alone actually love other people. We'll always have the poor and we'll always have war. Because people don't change. They're not intelligent enough nor humble enough nor strong enough to change. Someone's always going to be afraid enough of something or someone else to kill and steal and destroy for what they want. Wealth, power, a unified belief system.. Doesn't matter what we think we want because what we don't have and what we need is love. People use that word flippantly and for so many different things, but that doesn't change what it is. Unless what it is is only a poorly-defined and incongruent concept born of our deepest beliefs of what goodness and truth are. Who knows.

Well if I can't change nothin' there's no point in getting pissed off and rambling out stupid nonsense. Only thing I can do is stop thinking about it and get down to taking care of my own business: gettin' to court and working my ass off the rest of the day.

Today I'm very emotional and all the disorderly and unprofitable thoughts and behaviors are coming out. I still do not have the strength built to resist them. Recovery... I really believe I'm still making progress, but I still have to live life during the process and it ain't always going to be easy. A lot of times it's downright mean. And I have to pick my battles, so sometimes that means saying some crazy stuff and being weird, walking around kicking things and cursing and just lettin' it out so I don't have to go and hurt somebody. I wish I still had my weights.

I just gotta get this shit taken care of and maybe I'll be doing better tonight. I'm so sick of being angry. Guess if I get rich enough even taxes wouldn't bother me. The misuse of them still might though. Because then it's still someone stealing from me. "This tax funds this and that tax goes there" but too much of it ends up misused or in somebody's pockets. The safest country with the least amount of taxes is the one I'll probably end up in. BLEH.
 

El_King_Jefe

Make Money Online
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
1,660
Reaction score
28
Points
0
Location
My Brain
Nah, the problem is that there's no traffic;

She claimed it got 15,000 UVs a month from Myspace. Really, she paid for traffic and it had MAYBE 30 active users. She had claimed it was making $5/day off of ads. She doctored reports. The gateway I have on there converts VERY well for 5-10 people a day visiting the site (was getting $2/day) but now, on top of selling me a shit site, she opened up another site, stole all the content from this one, and then stole all the users, and I'm tracing them and that's how I found out. Now I'm getting about 3 people a day, completing 0-1 surveys. The only good thing to come out of it was she didn't privatize her registration so I was able to get another name, phone # and address and then verify them all against public records. So now I have the ability to sue this person should I qualify for a hardship and should they allow me to file at the court in my town and not the defendant's because the crime took place online.

I just.. man, I am not cut-out to deal with something like this right now. I've been through too much, I'm very unstable, manic-depressive, and I don't have anything good in my life yet. So when I have nothing, and someone takes the little I've earned, I just can't deal with it because I have nothing to fall back on. I can't say "at least I have a family", "at least I have a nice place to live", "at least I have an active social life and friends who care", "at least I have my health", "at least I have a stable income", "at least I have a shining hope for the future", "at least I'm a free of debts".
Man, here is the thing, she stole $200 from you, she is a theft and quite frankly there are a lot of people who doctor reports, even some guys on here. I can understand you have been through a lot but that should make you strive sooo much harder to success. There is so many ways to even make $200. I guarantee you, if you wanted to make that back, you will! Do not waste your time anymore on that project unless you want to start doing SEO for the site.

Now what are you going to do? Get those damn "At least..." or just going to say I cant handle it anymore? It looks like you have nothing to lose, so damn, you better not pick the latter of the 2.

PM me man, I can lend a hand if you want, I have a few methods that made me money faster but I simply did not have the time like you do to achieve a lot of success with it.


All I am saying is never give up, success will never come from it. Some people have been through worse, hell a shit ton worse man, but then some of them, the real diamonds, never ever give up!